April 14, 2014

On a personal note...

This may be the most personal post I have ever written.  Just a warning in case you want to skip ahead to the photos and maybe go back to stalking others on facebook.

About five years ago, I was sitting in my car crying.  I had gone through a really horrible breakup and I was sad, among many other emotions.  Long story short, I sat there feeling so helpless, as one normally does during those trying times, and I began to pray.  I put my hands together, closed my eyes, and said, "God, if you exist, please give me some peace.  I am tired of feeling like this and want it to be over."

It may have been a small gesture at first but I found peace that day.  The tears stopped rolling down my cheeks and little by little, I began to see that when I prayed, magical things would happen.  I then shifted from saying, "God if you exist..." to "God..."  And slowly, my faith began to grow.  I never had religion or faith in my life before.  I never had anyone tell me to believe one thing or another.  I was just a person who always tried to live a good life.So when I began to see changes, real tangible changes, my faith grew.  It was something that I kept to myself at first.  Something that I didn't really reveal to others or mention for fear that they would criticize me in saying that why, or how, because I wasn't known to be much of a believer.

About three years ago, my mother told me something that I, at the time, wasn't ready for.  That I needed to go to church because this way, I was only living my faith halfway.  Which at the time, I thought that having a relationship with God was such a big step that I didn't want others to ruin it for me.  Simply, I wasn't ready.  Fast forward to two  years ago, I began to feel like she was right.  I needed guidance so that my faith could grow, so I could know more about God.

Last year, I went to church.  I felt this burst of heat in my chest blast me with so much love.  I don't know how else to describe it... Love seems to be the only thing I can compare the feeling that I got.  And it was then that I went, talked to a priest, and began my 8 month journey to where I am now.

This Saturday,  I will get baptized.  It has been such an incredible journey learning so much about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and becoming a part of a community where I feel I belong.  In a place where I can put my faith to work.  On Saturday, I will become new, begin again.

This Saturday, my life will change.

I don't normally share such personal things on my blog nor do I write often about my religious views... however, I believe that putting this out there for the world to see makes it that much more special.  This is a special and one of a kind event for me and so I wanted to share my story with you, and everyone else that may have gone through something similar.


Some behind the scenes photos from a recent shoot :).