January 10, 2011

How I feel. Right. Now.

I promised that I would blog more about me.  My life.  And to be honest, it's so hard!  I always considered myself a pretty good writer back when paragraphs turned into pages.  I have a personal journal in which I write down my inner most thoughts, feelings and day to day occurrences and that usually leaves the blog... well, a little dry.  So today I'm just gonna write as if I were in my journal.  Flowing onto the keyboard just as it would on pen and paper.  So forgive the long run-on sentences, the bad grammar, and rambling.  I just needed to record right this minute.  Today. My life right now.

Today I booked another  wedding for this year.  Whoo hoo!  And to my future bride: thank you and I'm super excited to be a part of your wonderfully special day.  And honored to be the one to record the memories that you will share with family and hopefully one day with your own children and show them how much love was in mom & dad's eyes up at the alter.  And how you possibly shed a tear knowing you have found The One.  And how life began that day.  I've warned you, I'm a hopeless romantic.

And just as well.  Can't photograph weddings with out being slightly romantic.  Knowing that love is truly all around and everyone is celebrating and beaming makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.  

I never thought I'd be photographing weddings.  I never thought I'd even be photographing anything.  I wanted to be a music teacher.  I suppose the creative never ends it just transcends into something else.

And the road to where I am has been a tough one.  With full time jobs, finishing school, family, friends, doggies, and some me time it's been an up hill battle.  Long nights editing, learning new techniques, trying to figure out what aperture was, and lots of hot chocolates at Barnes & Noble.

At the end of the day I know that all of that is toward something I love to do.  Like they say, if you love what you do then you'll never work a day in your life.  And although I still juggle the day job, the family, the friends, the doggies and the late nights I know it's all worth it.  Because at the end of the day, what I do is something irreplaceable and know that this is all that is left.  Where would we be without photographs? With out visual memories of our lives?

We'd forget.  I'd forget my grandfather's eyes and my grandmother's hands.  I'd forget my red polka dotted bathing suit when I was barley walking on a very sunny day at the beach.  I'd forget my first real dog, Freedom.  And the worst part isn't forgetting... it's the not sharing.  Not sharing those memories with others and reliving fond memories of my life.

So before this gets longer and longer because I do tend to ramble on and on.  I guess I just feel so happy with who I am, what I do, and why.  The why is always hard to define, and trust me, I've tried over and over... and over again to understand why I even began taking photography up a level and making other peoples' lives irreplaceable.  And thinking about it now, the answer is simple.

To remember and be remembered and live on.  Forever.

What do you want to remember?